but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
