can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
