Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
