Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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