the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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