Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize