But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
