Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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