dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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