Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
