you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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