I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Drunk is not a location!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize