i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
