I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
