...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
