I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
And then he peed in my hair
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