Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
