dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
