I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
