My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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