should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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