Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
