well most of my day revolves around power hour
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
