Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I love you. Go after that dick
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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