Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize