i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
