if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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