Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize