i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize