I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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