I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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