Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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