She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
