Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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