it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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