I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
