I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize