you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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