my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
babies were throwing up all over the place
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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