my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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