piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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