I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
