oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
