I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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