I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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