Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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