real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
