is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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