Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
