fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
