i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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