You just made me feel so damn special
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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