I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
