Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
