3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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