I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
