sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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