Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
