I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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