I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize