Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
